Bismi's Gold An Fork, Melbourne CBD, Indian

Venue: Bismi Gold An Fork
Address: 380 Elizabeth St Melbourne 3000
Phone: 03 96544060

[Apologies if one character appears more heroic than the other :-) - Chai ]

Chai : Welcome to the first tandem foodie review. Today Blogger X (anonymous, cos I hadnt consulted her regarding disclosure, which wouldnt have been a PROBLEM if she wasnt so BUSY as to being unable to complete this review. Anyway, henceforth known as X) and I (ditto C) are walking towards Bismi Gold An Fork, an Indian restaurant located near the north east corner of Elizabeth and La Trobe St, on the fringes of the Melbourne CBD.

X : Are we there yet?

Chai nods towards the shop sign that looms into view as they turn the corner onto Elizabeth St.

C : I do remember having difficulty finding this place the first time.

X : Is there a mis-spelling here?

[insert meaningless chatter about how it could be the “A” in error, which would make it GoldEn or the missing “D” which would make it “Gold and Fork” which is at fault. Ask them? Yes, that would be optimal but nowhere near as interesting.]

We enter the restaurant and it is reasonably busy. Tables are scarce and after a short strategy meeting, X goes to place her order while C mills around some potential leavers. Having been there several times before, C concludes that it is always like this, ie. difficulty in getting a table. This is one of the reasons why C doesnt come here as often. The other? It takes a little long to prepare your food, which is good and bad, whch C supposes.

C glances around and notes that the majority of the patrons appear to be from the subcontinent. This always bodes well, from a culinary perspective.

Having managed to snag a table (possibly cos the previous occupants felt uncomfortable with C hanging around close enough to hear their conversations), when X returned, they do the tag team and C goes off to place his order. The queue is reasonably long and is moving a little on the slow side.

[This is where X's impression of the place would have appeared].

C returns clutching his food docket. X is gently rocking to the Bollywood music in the background.

X : I like the music. It's good music.

C : Really? It's kind of loud. What did you end up getting?

It appears that X had ordered a Chicken Masala with some Roti and C had yet again ordered a Chicken Murtabak, for his murtabak research, apparently.



The PA annouces X's docket number. X's chicken masala looks good. The roti even better. It's crispy and flakey plus lots and lots of gastronomic adjectives.

X gently tears at the roti (a.ka. bread, colloquially), stroking the bread whilst making little strips from it. She tenderly dips the strips into the marsala and gently brings it up towards her slightly parted quivering lips, almost caressing it.

C : Ummm, dont wait for me.

As the slightly dripping soaked roti enters her mouth, X rolls her eyes, as the pleasure from that first mouthful envelopes all her tastebuds.

C: Good?

X makes some earthy throaty sound.

All that moaning and groaning was making C very hungry. C's docket number is eventually called and he goes to collect his murtabak. It too is served on a multi compartment stainless steel platter. In one of the compartments was some sort of curry gravy for the murtabak.

C (gulps) : Looks pretty good. Want to try some?

C cuts a bit off for X to try.

C : You like?
X makes another earthy throaty sound.

C: Homer Simpson, right?

X : Huh? Dont watch the Simpsons.

C : Hmm, my curry is a tiny bit sour for my taste.

However, on trying X's marsala, C remarks that her curry is certainly very tasty and superior to the one that C was given.

C finishes the rest of the murtabak without the curry, cos it really didnt need it.

[This is where X's impression of food would have appeared]

X : That music is really getting on my nerves.

C : I know what you mean.

All up, C's paid $6.50 for his murtabak and $2.50 for his coke and X paid a lot for hers.

C : Shall we go? There are all these people milling around waiting for an empty table and they're making me feel uncomfortable.

Rating : Chai gives this 7/10 for food and 9/10 for value.

There is a small possibility that X will append her version of events ala Rashomon.