Penang Coffee House

Penang Coffee House
395 Burwood Rd Hawthorn 3122
(03) 9819 2092

No Reservation Taken - Just get there and line up like everyone else.

The ‘chhhhhh’ of pungent curry paste hitting a red hot wok competes with ‘hhuuuuuuuu’ of the shaved-ice machine and the bubbly rumble of tofu and lo-bak deep frying in oil – the scents are always the same yet discernable to the knowing nose – yes, you have ventured into Penang Coffee House in Hawthorne.

A while ago PCH was perched in the enviable location of right next to Swinburn University and the train station, now they are a few blocks up the road – all the locals and regulars know where to find the new abode, but if you haven’t been before it’s all the same to you. The service and the food are the same as before, which is the important thing. I was in love with the old place because it was cramped, noisy, hot, busy and in a never before seen colour of green. New place is sparkly, white and roomy.

Okay, on to the important thing – FOOD. Your menu arrives – a green laminated (a good idea for pesky liquids and food stains) outline of what’s on offer – the food is obviously Malaysian but don’t be mistaken in thinking it’s your average Malaysian fare – it’s not. It’s geared towards the Hawker Food Stalls in South East Asia, where the aforementioned lo-bak sits with the curried chicken drumetts, satay skewers and fish cakes.

Noodle dishes like Char Kwai Teow packed full of pink-edged slices of roast pork, translucent prawns and crisp crunchy beanshoots stun the diner into blissful sounds of ‘mmmm’ and ‘ohhhhh’. The king of soups here at PCH is the laksa lemak – the most satisfying bowl of rich, coconut broth redolent with fresh herbs, curry paste and the unmistakable scent of fish sauce. Thick, soft egg noodles tangle with thin slippery ones ensnaring shreds of poached chicken and pork, beanshoots add texture to go with the deep fried slices of tofu which soak up as much of the yummy goodness of the soup.

If soup isn’t your thing then you can’t go past beef rendang coupled with a perfectly golden roti which comes hot and crunchy waiting to be broken off into bits and dunked into the pungent dark meaty goodness of the curry. You might want to get a milkshake on the way home if you get the rendang, but heartburn never felt so good. Ever. Personally I love the Ayam Kapitan chicken – and would often get this to share, and by share I mean use both hands, mouth and feet if I could while wielding my chopsticks to prevent anyone else from sampling the deep-fried pieces of peanut and chilli coated chicken which comes with sweet chilli sauce. I think it’s the only think I’ve vowed to love for all eternity…that and Krispy Kreme donuts, but that’s a religion really.

There isn’t anything I wouldn’t recommend here – there are oodles of noodle dishes, vegetarians will not go hungry and even the most fanatic chilli lover will be impressed – everything is done in enviable balance, the hot, sweet, sour and salty flavors come together in a harmony that leaves one lusting for more.

P.S When you go, ask for ‘Mandy’ and tell her where you heard about the place, it’s good to name drop as you’ll get the best service and she’ll be tickled pink that she’s the best.

Mekong, Vietnamese, Melbourne CBD

Telephone : (03) 9663 3288
Adddress : 241 Swanston St Melbourne 3000

Short review: cheap and cheerful.

Long review:

Food was good, cheap Vietnamese fare. The egg noodle soup with thin-sliced beef was great value at $7-ish - you can pay that for a basic sandwich in the city. Serves were generously sized. The chicken-and-prawn spring rolls were crisp and tasty.

While I don't have the worldliness of my dining companions, Rowan and Chai, I'm not convinced it's the best Vietnamese food I've ever had. Having eaten at Saigon Palace in South Caulfield pretty much weekly when I lived near there, I'd have to say that Mekong's soup stock was a little too rich by comparison, and lacked subtlety in flavour. The vegetables were clearly terrified by the stock, and had hidden themselves well.

Chai and Rowan had the presence of mind to order broken-rice dishes with BBQ meats. They looked sensational, and smelt terrific (their arrival ten minutes or so before my meal added a certain piquancy too, I'm sure).

How to describe the service? It would be overstating to say it was unfriendly - perhaps extremely disinterested would be fairer. I had a moment of genuine alarm when, after taking orders from my dining companions, the waiter stowed his PDA and fixed me with a deeply apathetic stare. I had visions of a Vietnamese soup nazi shouting "No soup for you!" in my face. The truth was less interesting - he took that order on paper.

The decor was clearly from the Cheap Takeaway school of design - serviceable, but basic. Tables were jammed in so tightly that portlier diners would probably need the services of a shoe-horn to get into chairs. Every seat was taken, and hungry prospective diners milled near the entrance, eyeing our table pointedly.

As Chai pointed out, we weren't eating there for the service. Quite right. The food was the point, and the food was great for the price. Will I be back? Hell yes. Gotta try the broken rice!

Locality review - South East

Hungry in the South Eastern suburbs? The following eateries are my pick of what's on offer in Oakleigh and environs.

1. Clover
Thai and Japanese
3A Station St, Oakleigh
Though it is good advice to be suspicious of a restaurant that combines 2 disparate cuisines, it is a literal marriage of these two cultures that lead the owners do so. No doubt because of its heritage, it works.

If you want some soup – there is miso, tom yum or a tom kha to choose from. Spring rolls or gyoza (and much more) for entree. Strangely the pairings kind of work. The sushi and sashimi is averagely good but it is the stir fries (“Wok Toss” dishes) that appeal to me the most. For a healthy meal, I can’t go past the beancurd and vegetables with fresh ginger and light soy.

There is also a good choice of Thai curries, salads, noodle and rice dishes. Food is of a uniformly good standard and the breadth of choice means there is something for everyone.

The restaurant is comfortable, service prompt and also offers takeaways.

2. Gasi Busi
Korean
80 Poath Rd Hughesdale
I spied this restaurant one day while checking out the organic grocery opposite. It was closed at the time but the menu looked interesting and cheap, yet the glimpses I got of the interior looked enticing.

We rocked up without a booking on a Saturday night and lucked the last table. The décor was more of a good Japanese restaurant, than the utilitarian Korean joints in this part of the world.

For a fussy eater like me, there was a pleasant amount of choices. Hard to decide whether to go for a sizzling plate, be tempted by the deep friend fish with cabbage salad or opt for a traditional hot pot. The dumplings for entrée were delicious, with an oddly meaty texture despite being vegetarian. We were hungry and service was slow. When mains arrived we descended like starving wolves.

The benchmark of Korean food, for me is the hot pot. I love the little bowls of pickles that come with it. My soft tofu and seafood came bubbling in its little vessel (sadly not made at the table). The flavour was great, but the seafood was scanty – tiny little shrimps and miniature mussels. His kimchi hot pot with pork had a hotter, sweeter sauce with a greater depth of flavour. The side dishes were pleasing, except for the broccoli covered with the special bbq sauce – I just didn’t like the flavour.

It was a pleasant experience with great flavours, nice surroundings but slightly marred by the slow (though very friendly) service and small servings.

3. Nights of Kabul
Afghan and Persian
39 Portman St, Oakleigh
Try not to let the tacky décor and vastness of this too often under populated establishment put you off. What they lack in decorating taste, they make up for in efficient service in this family run restaurant. The food really is worth checking out.

I love the pastries and the rice dishes here. For a non-meat eater the menu gets a bit repetitive with many of the mains mimicking the entrees, but it is a good, cheap, tasty meal. Carnivores have a wider selection. The lovers of ridiculously inexpensive wine will marvel at the prices, but connoisseurs should bring their own.

I haven’t made it on the nights of special entertainment – with traditional music or dancing, but I’d choose it over the vast Greek one across the road any day.

Honourable mention
Lecco Pizzaria on Atherton Rd. This is a cozy little eatery with red checked tablecloths and a couple of tables on the pavement. I've never eaten anything else here but the pizza was so good I came back for more – and I don’t even like pizza!

Shihans Chilli Bar, 137 Koornang Rd, Carnegie - a small shop selling Sri Lankan groceries and homemade delights from the bain marie and freezer. Great dhal. Worth stocking up on a couple of curries to keep on hand at home.

Final word
All of the restaurants would qualify for being a "cheap eat" - with mains all under $20, most between $10-15. None a foody mecca but still satisfying enough to palate and wallet.

Post originally published in confessions of a food nazi.

The Wall - Balaclava - Breakfast

rear 280 Carlisle Street, Balaclava
9593 8280

There's an incongruity between the inside and the outside of The Wall. Outside, this appears to be an über hip outpost of Fitzroy camped out in East St Kilda. The kind of place that you think about applying heavy eye make-up despite getting out of bed on a Sunday MORNING. Only two small tables outside, and a couple of long cushioned benches against a sunny brick wall. Order from cool young things in tight jeans and black rock t-shirts through the-hole-in-the-wall counter and linger in the warmth of the sun as you sip your coffee.

Inside, the decor is all post-industrial and matched/mis-matched found local things, like the old wooden sign from a Kosher Butcher (which, though nodding to the area's Russian-Jewish history, jarred as most of the meat on the chalk-board menu was pig by-product (bacon, ham and pancetta) is also fits the more 'Northside' sensibility of the cafe. The customers inside don't fit the image of The Wall. Which is, I'm guessing, due to the menu.

All sorts of toasted pide make up the menu aside from a jungle curry added as almost an afterthought in small letters right at the bottom. And the place is packed with small people eating plain buttered or ham/cheese/tomato toasted pide with their small sticky fingers and drinking babycini attended upon by their big people eating smoked salmon and roquette toasted pide or pide filled with varying combinations of salad and ham or pancetta. Well, I would too! If I had a small person, I'd love the wall. Food that they'll eat without fussing over and seats that they won't fall out of unless they try very hard.

I enjoyed the baked beans that I ate but I wouldn't call them a knockout dish (I did dig the presentation - it was smart). My coffee was very good and I'd rate it ******** according to fluffy's rating system (though thankfully it didn't come in the uncomfortable cup, just the standard $1.50 glass). Don't get me wrong, the food was fine just very standard cafe fare especially where there is so much variety nearby.

Next time I go, I'll stick with coffee, sit on the bench and do the crossword or simply watch the world go by.

Coffee Pot Café – Werribee – Modern Australian

Shop 1/70 Watton Street
03 9741 4141

If you’re travelling to or through Werribee, you are unlikely to go hungry. In the last few years, Werribee's Shopping Strip on Watton Street, has successfully re-invented itself. A welcome benefit of the revamp, is the choice between old favourites, such as the belly warming Golden Grill Turkish Restaurant on Station Street and their newer upbeat neighbours.

Winning the New and Emerging Small Business Award in 2005, Coffee Pot Café epitomises the new, fresh voice of Werribee. The décor is modern and the dishes are beautifully presented. My reason for liking the place is not so much for the food as the fact that unlike its neighbours, it offers you the choice to eat your meal on a balcony overlooking Werribee River.

The food is wholesome and generous. For chatting with mates, there are tasting plates and platters of dips. Otherwise, you’ll find a nice variety of focaccias, stir fries, salads and your average pub style meals, like chicken parma and fishermen’s basket. You can get a main for about $15.00.

The Cajun Chicken Salad I had was fresh and tasty although I wasn’t wowed by it. My mother’s Chicken Parmigiana was massive so Mum started off by tutt tutting, 'Oh I don't know how I'm going to eat all of that' afterwhich she promptly demolished the dish. While my mind was still on the food, Mum gestured toward a couple across from us. ‘Those two don’t belong to each other’, she said (in Dutch, thankfully). I’m obviously not the only one who thinks of this is a cosy place to escape.

The service was speedy although in my experience I wouldn’t say it was particularly child friendly. Child size meals are not offered and having asked for one, I was met with lemons.

Having said that, our tastebuds were won over by coffee that is both smooth and aromatic, guaranteeing my bottom at their tables in the future. Come to think of it - the name of the establishment was probably what drew my attention in the first place.

The Malvern Hotel, Malvern, pub grub

Malvern Hotel
1117 Malvern Road
(03) 9822-3582
Pub grub - mains $18-$31

Last night, having been relentlessly hassled by my co-bloggers, we finally left the house to eat. Not wanting to venture too far, we went to our local pub, the Malvern Hotel.

Hugo, my PU#1* and I arrived at the Malvern around 8pm, and were seated in the front bit of the dining room, which although it has a lovely view of the National Security Agency and passing No. 16 trams, is a little drafty for a coolish March evening. I was glad I'd taken a jumper. Our somewhat ditzy blonde waitress brought us a giant blackboard of specials, but didn't explain anything other than the fish.

The Malvern Hotel has a long history - apparently, it's been there since 1857. I think the cheese twists they served as an appetiser may have been too. They came in a plastic packet, along with some warm olives. Hugo speculated that they may have been warm due to being pulled off someone's half-eaten pizza, but we wouldn't suggest for a moment that was actually true. The place seemed very clean and hygenic indeed.

We ordered steak (me), calamari (PU#1) and a rabbit pie (Hugo). It was approximately 8.10pm. At around 8.40pm, the crowd from the Blue Mountains (in town for the Commonwealth Games) were getting increasingly well-lubricated and, er, loud, but the natives were getting restless as our dinners hadn't arrived. At around 8.50pm we asked where our dinners were and the manager explained to us that there'd been a lot of orders at once (er, yes, and your kitchen staff ought to be able to cope with that). At around 9pm, PU#1 suggested to our waitress that perhaps we wouldn't have to pay for the food, since it was taking such an inordinately long time. At 9pm and 1 second the manager reappeared to tell us that it was coming, very, very soon, and that he'd love to offer us free hot drinks at the end of our meal to make up for it (hmph). At about 9.05pm our food finally arrived.

Now. Correct me if I'm wrong, folks, but a simple pub meal (and I have my steak blue, so it's not like it takes a long time to cook) shouldn't take an hour to arrive. Anyhoo. The steak was tasty (but I probably would have eaten a slab of raw walrus and pronounced it tasty by that stage, I was so hungry). The calamari was also nice, and not tough, and came with a lime mayonnaise, which tasted very mayonnaisey (i.e. not like the cheap Australian crap - Kraft, Praise, etc, etc), but not at all limey. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that it was a pale green colour, I would have doubted the limeyness. Actually, it may have been food dye.

Hugo's rabbit pie was disappointing. Bunnies are vermin, after all, and one would think there were enough of them (200-300 million is the estimated population) to fill a pie. But no! While he pronounced the bits of bunny there were delicious, he was left with a pie dish full of soupy liquid quite quickly. Not enough rabbit, too much stock was the overall verdict.

The portions were generous enough, however, and we found ourselves unable to contemplate dessert, although we did take the kindly manager up on his offer to supply us with free hot drinks. PU#1 ordered a short black, H & I had hot chocolates.

Now, there's really not that much you can do wrong with a hot chocolate. Or so you'd think. Personally, I like mine rich as Croesus, topped with cream, thick with marshmellows, lots of chocolatey goodness. But it's not essential. Milk, chocolate and possibly marshmellows are all the essential elements.

The manager brought over our hot drinks himself, still apologising for our tardy meals. Our hot chocolates had "artistic" swirls of chocolate topping on top of the foam. Ugh. Foam is just plain wrong, and chocolate topping taste disgusting to anyone over the age of about nine. Possibly ten if they're a late developer.

Hugo asked for a marshmellow. The manager scuttled off to get some. About ten minutes later he reappeared, highly apologetic but sans marshmellows, explaining that he'd actually gone across the road to the service station to try to buy a packet when he realised they didn't have any.

Bad planning, slow food (and not in the good slow food way), average pies... it's all not adding up to somewhere you'd want to eat dinner. There are great pub meals a-plenty in Melbourne. Give this one a miss.





*PU#1 stands for Parental Unit Number 1, and is used to refer to my mother. My father is PU#2.

A & V Lazar Charcoal Grill - Fitzroy

Food:Steak
Entree: $7-$12Mains: $25-$29Dessert: $7-$12

Payment accepted: MasterCard, Visa, Diners Club, American Express and Bankcard
Licensed. Wine is available by the glass. BYO (wine only) no corkage fee.
Vegetarian options available
This venue accepts bookings. It is advisable to make a reservation ahead of time. Group bookings are supported.
Seats 200
Wheelchair access
Limited parking

Steak glorious Steak. There are few foods in this world (and possibly any other) better than a perfectly cook steak - by perfectly cooked I mean anything from medium to blue and mooing. Don't ever tell me a well-done steak is perfect, it's not and those who like it well done should stick to drive through.

A & V Lazar Charcoal Grill is a Melbourne institution - they have been around for more than 35 years and quite frankly as far as they are concerned, they are the steak place in Melbourne. Just ask the pictures of cattle on the day-old-blood red brick walls, or the blackened grill sending squeals from the plump sausages - or maybe just ask Alojz Lazar and his sons, your waiter is likely to be one of his sons.

For some reason the building reminds me of a great big brick oven - not because it's hot, quite the opposite really, it's big and airy - feeling more like a Swiss mountain cabin, or what I think a Swiss mountain cabin should/would feel like. The furniture is comfortable and no nonsense - there is a bar and an okay wine list, but let's face it, you're there to eat meat so no frou frou over the drinks - just sit down and forego the offer of a menu and tell them you want the 'Beef Banquet'.

Beef banquet gives you four sumptuous courses - a delicious beef broth, which, in winter, is just the thing to start warming up the chills in those bones. Believe me when I say you will crave that beef broth at the oddest times. Follow the broth with those meaty snags (not the waiters, jeez!) oozing their juices and begging for a smudge of homemade mustard.

This will lead you to what you're there for - MEAT. You would have requested rump, porterhouse or fillet from your cheeky waiter when you gave him your drink order. A word of caution - if you don't want your steak hanging over the edge of your plate, stick with a fillet. Of course the meat is well hung as in well aged so that the flavour is intense and optimum at time of cooking. It's a good thing when you chew your steak and your eyes roll back in your head from the explosion of meaty goodness without the unnecessary sauces and garnishes to detract from the taste of beef.

You do get a bowl of salad on the table with the banquet - crisp leaves, fresh flavours and a spoonful of creamy zesty potato salad. You don't have to eat it, but hey, some people do. Remember - you're there for the meat!

If you have room for dessert, it's included in your banquet - pretty much pancakes with strawberries and icecream will be your best bet. It's a nice nice way to end a glorious feast of the beast. Enjoy!